Quirino Hostage-taking Bloodbath Is a Brainchild of the Sumerians, Chinese, and Wright Brothers!

The hostage-taking standoff in Quirino yesterday, if I have to describe it, is a nothing but a textbook-case scenario. You have a bus with passengers, a hostage taker, and demands. How in the world can that result to a brutal ending?! I mean, if there is a list of classic, textbook hostage crisis, I am sure what happened yesterday is one of the topnotchers.

So, what happened? Who made the wrong move?

These two (Orville and Wilbur) are responsible
to what happened yesterday.

Well, according to Malacanang, and from the President himself, it was partly because of the media. According to him, the media should not have aired the 'arresting' of the hostage taker's brother. According to him, had the media not aired that situation (knowing the hostage taker is monitoring what is happening outside the bus, maybe he did not "snap" and resort to a killing spree.

I agree. In fact, I agree 1000%. And let me just add also the following reasons of the bloody crisis that the president should have blamed/mentioned along with the media:

1. Sumerians. At around 3500 BC, the first wheel (or at least its prototype) was invented by this ancient civilization. If the Sumerians did not exist, the wheel would not have been invented. And yes, probably, there would be no transportation vehicles like the bus. And with no bus invented by the modern civilization, the hostage taking IN THE BUS might not have happened.

2. Chinese. It was the ancient Chinese who invented the gunpowder... specifically, it was their military force who first used gunpowder as a weapons technology. Now, if the Chinese did not exist, there would probably be no gunpowder. And with no gunpowder, I am sure the hostage taker will have a hard time staging that drama especially if he is using a knife (perhaps) only.

3. Wright brothers. It was Orville and Wilbur Wright who invented the airplane. The Philippines is an archipelago. There is no way the Hong Kong nationals could have chosen the Philippines as a tourist destination if they have to travel by sea... especially now that a lot of storms visit our country this time of the year. Had the Wright brothers failed to invent the airplane, there would be noone (or at least only a few local citizens) to hostage in the first place!


To hell with the media's constitutionally protected right to let the people know what is happening... to hell with the uncoordinated approach of the ground troops when they stormed the bus... to hell with the police's arrogance of not listening to media personnel that there is an emeregency exit that they can open, or the best way to open the bus door is by a sudden hard push or really hard pull... to hell with the ground commander's incompetence to handle the crisis situation... So, it doesn't really matter if Noynoy did not notice these stuff or did not consider these stuff as the more significant reasons of the failure.


Ang galing mo, Noy!

I admire Noynoy for having the guts to blame media (when noone else would) for what had happened. But again, he should have included the Summerians, the Chinese civilization, and most importantly, the Wright brothers.

PS: Oh, and while we are at it, I think Noynoy should have blamed Mendoza's (the hostage taker) being a Filipino (average life expectancy: 60++ years). Mendoza is a 55-year-old police officer. Had he been a resident of -- for example -- Swaziland, he's probably dead more than two decades ago. (Average life expectancy of residents of Swaziland: 31.88 years). Hence, no hostage taking crisis.

Halata na ba?

Holy S! Didn't I tell you? He was not born; he forced his way out of his mother’s womb!

Na puro cut-n-paste ang mga posts ko? Or picture na naman na tulad nitong isang 'to ang makikita niyo? Babawi na lang ako sa susunod. Hayyy naku. Hehehe.

PS: Para sa aking stalker, Patricia, wow. Sinusubaybayan mo talaga ang blog ko. Ikaw ang unang nakahalata nito. I'll write something up for you next time. Promise.

:p

Computer: male or female?

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,'  however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What  gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the  teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to  decide for themselves  
whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal  logic; 

2. The  native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone  else;

3. Even  the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 

4. As  soon as you make a commitment  to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories  for it. 

The women's group, however,  concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'),  because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn  them on; 

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for  themselves; 

3. They  are supposed to help you solve  problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 

4. As  soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model 

So, what do you think? Is a computer male or female?

:p

Jules Ledesma to head Science and Technology, HoR

The only way our country can really reach a developed country status is if we develop our science and technology capability. This is the only way we can hyperdrive our industrialization. Now, listen to this: Jules Ledesma, the undefeated absentee congressman from Negros Occidental who attended the 14th Congress only once, is going to head the House of Representatives Committee on Science and Technology.

And I say:

WTF!

Haissssst!

Why men shouldn't write advice columns

(collected via e-mail)

Dear John,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom, in our bed, with a neighbour.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was laid off from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Shiela

---

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
John

Filler 08132010

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.

If you can dream it, you can become it.

William Arthur Ward